From The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming by Henri Nouwen:
For most of my life I have struggled to find God, to know God, to love God. I have tried hard to follow the guidelines of the spriritual life - pray always, work for others, read the Scriptures - and to avoid the many temptations to dissipate myself. I have failed many times but always tried again, even when I was close to despair.From Part III, Chapter 8
Now I wonder whether I have sufficiently realized that during all this time God has been trying to find me, to know me, and to love me. The question is not "How am I to find God?" but "How am I to let myself be found by him?" The question is not "How am I to know God?" but "How am I to let myself be known by God?" And, finally, the question is not "How am I to love God?" but "How am I to let myself be loved by God?" God is looking into the distance for me, trying to find me, and longing to bring me home. . . Can I accept that I am worth looking for? Do I believe that there is a real desire in God to simply be with me?